If we take a step back and examine our lives, we’ll probably realize that we spend an inordinate amount of time doing things that are, all in all, net negatives. Which on the surface, seems like a crazy thing for us to do. Considering we could be putting the same time and energy into doing something that has a positive effect on our lives.
Yet, it seems that we remain stuck in the same rut.
All too often, we do nothing to extricate ourselves from such situations. Whether it’s changes in the way we’re running our business or the way we live our lives, we seem to be missing whatever it is that’s necessary to motivate us to change. Call it will power, fortitude, determination, or whatever you like, we seem to be lacking when it comes to this one special thing.
Obviously, we’d like to have this thing. In order to get it, we’ll have to figure out what it is we need and how, exactly, to acquire it. Ideally, we’ve got to spend some time thinking about these three questions:
1. Why are we in this situation?
2. Why we haven’t already gotten ourselves out of this situation?
3. What is it going to take to get us out of this situation?
Granted, we’re all going to have to go through trying experiences in our lives; that’s part of being human. There will be times we have to do some uncomfortable thing we’d rather not be doing, someplace where we’d rather not be doing it. But for love of friends and family, we muscle through these difficult situations.
Most of the time, however, we find ourselves in difficult situations that don’t call on our sense of personal responsibility. Why haven’t we already gotten ourselves out of these situations? Obviously, there will be instances where some other type of responsibility (legal, moral, financial, etc.) will demand our attention and participation. That doesn’t mean that we have to participate in all those other injurious situations.
Why are we still doing the same things, repeating the same patterns, when we could be doing better?
Why don’t we make much of an effort to figure out what’s preventing us from even trying to do better?
Discovering exactly what it is that’s mentally blocking our betterment would likely require an investment of time and energy to delve into the inner workings of our psyche. We’d have to do some thinking to try and discover our motives. Why aren’t we really trying to do better? Is it because we’re don’t think we can pull it off? Is it because we don’t know if our ideas will actually work? Is it because we’re scared to try something new?
In the Daily Stoic Podcast from 2024.09.09, neuroscientist and philosopher Sam Harris has a wide-ranging conversation about the ways in which we see things in our lives. The following is a paraphrase of what he said about eliminating negative things from our lives:
The moment of control comes when we decide to just no longer do that something. That thing that, deep down, we recognize: All right, this thing I’m doing is a net negative for my life. And we can’t help but think: Why do I keep doing this same thing over again? For us to decisively decide to actually break up with that thing, to eliminate that loss from our balance sheet, that seems to be all too rare an experience, and very positive when it does happen.
In business, we don’t want to do things that cause us to lose money. We don’t want to do things that will have a net negative effect on our balance sheet. If something costs us more than we profit from it, and we keep doing that thing over and over again, eventually, we’ll lose our company.
What makes us think the rest of our lives would run any differently?
It’s hard to take a step back from the routine and try to figure out if things are working as well as they should be. It’s simpler to just stick to the well-worn path. It’s easier to watch TV or drift off into some mindless pursuit than it is to put in the work.
But, I guess that’s why they call it work.
And maybe it’s why so few people choose to do it.
Maybe it’s also why the people that do it are usually the ones we’d like to be like.
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Thanks, Joe
