If we take a step back and examine our lives, we’ll probably realize that we spend an inordinate amount of time doing things that, all in all, are net negatives. Which on the surface, seems like a crazy thing for us to do. Considering that we could be using the same time and energy to do something that’s a net positive in our life.
Yet, it seems that we remain stuck in the same rut.
All too often, we do nothing to extricate ourselves from the situation. Whether it’s changes in the way we’re running our business or the way we live our lives, we seem to be missing whatever the thing is that’s needed to motivate us to change. Call it will power, fortitude, determination, or whatever you like, we seem to be lacking when it comes to this special thing.
How do we figure out what we need to do to get whatever it is we need?
We’ve got to spend some time thinking about three main things:
- Why we’re in this situation
- Why we haven’t already gotten out of it
- What is it going to take for us to get out of it
Granted, we’re all going to have to go through things in our lives that will be trying experiences; that’s part of being human. There will be times when we’re doing some uncomfortable thing we’d rather not be doing, somewhere we’d rather not be doing it at. But for loyalty to friends and family, we muscle through these situations.
But when it comes to all the other things in our lives (that aren’t a personal responsibility), why are we still doing them the same way when we could be doing them better? Even more puzzling is the question of why don’t we make much of an effort to figure out why we aren’t even trying to do them better.
Figuring that out would likely take time delving into the inner workings of our psyche. We’d have to do some thinking to try and discover our motives. Why aren’t we really trying to do better? Is it because we’re unsure we can pull it off? Is it because we don’t know if our ideas will actually work? Is it because we’re scared to try something new?
In the Daily Stoic Podcast from 2024.09.09, Sam Harris has a wide-ranging conversation about the way in which we see things in our lives. The following is a paraphrase of what he said about getting rid of things that are negative in our lives:
The moment of control comes when we decide to just no longer do that something. That thing that we know, deep down we really recognize: All right, this thing I’m doing is a net negative for my life. And we can’t help but think: Why do I keep doing this same thing over again?
For us to just decisively decide to actually break up with that thing, to eliminate that loss from our balance sheet, that seems to be all too rare an experience, and very positive when it does happen.
In business, we don’t want to do something that loses us money. We don’t want to do things that have a net negative effect on our balance sheet. If something costs us more than we make from it, and we keep doing that thing over and over again, eventually, we’ll lose our company.
What makes us think that the rest of our lives would run in a different way?
It’s hard to take a step back from the routine and try to figure out if things are working as well as they should be. It’s easier to stick to the well-rutted path. It’s easier to just watch TV or drift off into some mindless pursuit than it is to put in the work.
But, I guess that’s why they call it work.
And maybe it’s why so few people choose to do it.
Maybe it’s also why the people that do it are usually the ones we’d like to be like.
Thanks, Joe
