Humans are unique beings; in that we’ve evolved to have consciousness. We can think about the past, present, and future and (usually) react accordingly towards them. It seems, however, that many of us are particularly drawn to looking back. We spend a good bit of time inside our own head, reminiscing, thinking back to some point in our past. We may even long for that moment in time, wishing for what we, personally, perceive as a simpler time in our life.
It’s a common thing for us to do. It’s called nostalgia: fondly remembering a time in the past with happy personal associations. In fact, being able to think about the past and future is one of the things that sets us apart from the lesser animals. It’s an amazing skill that we humans have acquired, but like everything we do, some of us take it to the extreme.
Like everything we do, some of us take it to the extreme.
We spend an inordinate amount of time in the past, quite often to the detriment of our present. We think back on this idealized simpler time, and rage against the present, angry because things aren’t the way they were back when we were happy.
There’s even a scientific name for this frame of mind: nostalgic depression. It’s the feelings we get when longing for the past while at the same time being dissatisfied with the present. Taken to the extreme, it can lead to hopelessness and despair, which is where none of us wants to be.
So, what’s the answer? Where’s the silver bullet for this problem? How do we fix this?
The sad reality is that there is no silver bullet for longing. It’s part of life, so we’ve got to deal with it, just like we contend with all the other things that happen in our lives. It’s just how things go. There’s no escaping the fact that our lives consist of one problem after another. The only thing we can control is figuring out how we’re going to deal with the problems at hand.
There’s no escaping the fact that our lives consist of one problem after another.
Purposefully choosing to make our own lives miserable by yearning for the past, longing for our own simpler time, is a decidedly unproductive venture. There’s nothing we can do to magically transform our past into our present. No such spell exists, so we’ve got to decide to concentrate the bulk of our mental efforts on the present.
I’m certainly not saying that there are no benefits to looking back. We learn many valuable lessons examining our past interactions and experiences. In fact, autobiographical memory is essential for us to function as a human being. But wasting too much of our limited resources on something that’s already happened is generally a poor investment of our time.
For obvious reasons, our primary focus should be on the present. Until someone invents time travel, the current moment is the only place where we can really exert influence on the unfolding story of our lives.
If we’re longing for a simpler time, this is it. Think a minute about how your life is going to unfold. It’s undoubtedly true that our lives are going to get more complicated the longer we’re around. More people, more places, more things, all coming and going from our lives. Problems upon problems, with new things popping up for us to deal with all the time.
So, we’re longing for a simpler time, are we? Look around; we’ve already got it.
The rest of our lives will never be as simple as they are right now.
Ask yourself, what are you waiting for?
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Thanks, Joe
